Choose life part 3

Jeremy Chua invited us to his girlfriend, Pearl's place on Saturday for a get-together for my army mates. Roy fetched me, Khai and Chung to her place. Kevin came down later with Lip Peow and his girlfriend, Sherry. It was great fun as we finished 2 cartons of beer and gambled the night away though I lost like $20+. Crap...

We started talking about our directions in life. Chung started telling me how he felt that I was totally directionless in life and didn't seem to exude any sense of confidence in how I 'sell' myself to others. I just inspire confidence in others. He threw in a disclaimer that his words were harsh. I told him that he was right to make such observations. What he had said was what I was aware about too. Jason Ong aka J. O. had remarked to me just a few days ago that I just seemed to have any drive in life. They were not wrong to say that. It didn't come as a surprise to me that they would think that way as well.

Sometimes, I just feel like I've stopped giving a shit about everything. I just feel so tired. I've not done anything in my entire life to warrant that, of course. However, I need to get out of that single rut, that fucken stupid feeling that is boggling me down.

Roy suggested that I've been meeting the wrong employers but I don't think he's right to say that. I'm tired of giving such excuses to myself. I concurred with what Lip Peow had said about being stuck in a comfort zone. As crazy as it is to get a car, getting a sales job which might require my own personal transport might just kick my ass in line. But of course, like what Roy mentioned, I'd just sell the car if I can't afford it or decide to get of that very job which is financing the car. This, I agree with him. I may need a greater kick. I dunno.

BUt one thing is for sure: I really need to get out of this comfort zone. I guess the question is what will the ticket be and how would I get it? I'm not expecting answers. I just have to find it myself. And I don't even know when I would find it.